"Whether drifting through life on a boat, or climbing towards old age leading a horse, each day is a journey, and the journey itself is home." ~Basho
Over the past 8 weeks (!), our (almost) global lockdown is shifting the way we live, work, and play. During this time our main focus has been how to live productive and emotionally healthy lives given the measures we need to take, as well as the reduction in services available.
At first, many of the practical issues of adjusting to health regulations were the task at hand. From working at home, staying well protected if out/working in public, ordering groceries online, socially distanced visits to relatives, arranging virtual yoga classes and prescriptive daily walks, now to longer-term home-schooling, cancelled travel plans, virtual social engagements, and ... the list goes on!
I have noticed about 3 stages of this experience so far. It feels like the first 3 weeks of lockdown were the ‘honeymoon period’ for some (those who were at a much-needed breaking point from the daily grind) and an absolute horror show for others (having to entertain/ educate the kids for entire days on end AND try to work from home all of a sudden).
Well, suffice it to say, that no matter what your outer circumstance, we have all been navigating the inner experience of living life differently than before. The second phase of lockdown life (weeks 3-6) saw us becoming habituated to our homely routines, and getting down to the jobs that have needed to be done for ages. Still, we found during this time that there are so many aspects to just living life than previously given attention to. At this stage, it was important to remember that:
Maintaining our health, home, family & friend relationships requires resources: energy, time, attention, and emotional availability.
Resources that we may have previously directed outwardly in other ways has now returned closer to our person.
As the jobs get done (and with a good dose of satisfaction and kudos) the habit of distracting oneself with yet another task starts to diminish, yet, we still see the efforts needed to keep things going as usual. Regardless of being busy or idle, our sphere of energetic projection has started to turn around, and we are being directed to what’s going on inside, bubbling beneath the surface.
Tune-in to what you feel… mentally, physically, emotionally & energetically.
It is very common for people to avoid discomfort, but we get caught out in times like this; where your options to project are limited. Now, more than ever, you can spend your days on social media until your brain is fried, you’ve been riled up and hurt by all the online trolls, you’ve ‘compared and despaired’ for long enough, and had conversations, discussions, even arguments (in your head) with people you may never meet in person.
So, after you put down the phone or laptop screen, and re-enter your daily life with any displaced aggression, confusion, and self-doubt, it is likely that those you share your life with will experience the effects of your emotional states on a daily basis. This is not a new phenomenon, but right now, it has potentially amplified.
Are you sitting with heaviness?
Are you discontent, anxious, or afraid?
Did you expect life to turn out differently that it has?
Right now, we have entered stage 3 of lockdown living: going deeper and dealing with the dark stuff, the ‘baggage.’ It is here that we are given the chance to spend more time with the deeper level stuff - the long held tensions, emotional grievances, mourning, difficult conversations, failures and fears we cannot reconcile. This is the processing that needs us to: sit, feel, recognise, accept, and commit to a path of healing.
As so many may be experiencing a bit of an emotional roller coaster around this time, it becomes very difficult to identify momentary grumpiness due to too much screen time and an overdue walk, versus a long-held circumstance that needs to shift before bigger breakthroughs can be revealed. You may know in your positive heart and mind that you are ready to make a more significant change in your life, but getting caught up in the day-to-day can take you another step back into the usual holding patterns of the mind.
Let us now explore the power of gratitude, acknowledgement, surrender, and permission in the present moment, and how we can move from a place of FEAR to a place of LOVE - instantly. By using this process often, we can highlight awareness of our negative, fear-based tendencies, and actively shift these thought patterns to ones of positive determination, and belief in continual and effective change. Here we explore some of the emotions that can keep us stuck on the negative, and what can help pull us towards the positive.
Overwhelm - “I keep cleaning the house, but it is always a mess!”
It seems like every daily effort made brings us back to the beginning all over again. This is a perfect time to take a breath, go outside, and remember that to live life is living in a state movement, of constant flux. We keep a nice home because we care about ourselves and our loved ones. When the kitchen/living room/bedroom is freshly cleaned, take a moment to enjoy and appreciate it by expressing your gratitude. You can say to yourself, “this (room) and its energy is clean and cared for and I am thankful for the soothing/useful/restful space it provides for me and my family.” Whether it’s cleaning or checking emails, let each effort be made for the action itself and not for the end result. Through the practice of Karma Yoga, we know that the duty is in the doing, we do something because ‘it needs to be done!’
Depression - “I wake up each day with no enthusiasm to do anything.”
It can be hard to go through the drudgery of the ‘Groundhog Day’ experience where each day rolls into the next, and our passion for living gets diminished. It is especially important to recognise and acknowledge activities of each day that spark a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment. Next time you do something you feel good about, put that on the list of activities to repeat on a regular basis, making it part of a routine you can come back to, knowing that each new day gives you the chance to make progress. Whether it’s daily walks, runs, cooking, painting, gardening, sewing, playing an instrument, singing, dancing, or learning a language - there is such a sense of fulfilment when you know you are coming back to a task that needs regular time, practice, and patience to improve your skills.
Worry/Fear - “My career path/business may not make it through this pandemic!”
The thought of uncertainty can be held at bay for a while, but often when it strikes, it comes out of the blue and stays long enough to shake up any rattling parts within you. Fear is part of our makeup for a reason. It gets us to make a move! While this may be the perfect time to make major life changes, it may feel like we are unable to move forward with the desired changes we’d like to make. Use this emotion to draft out a new plan on paper and visualise the many options that become available when we need to be creative on living more fully. Putting different options down on paper and allowing yourself to surrender to each of these pathways is a great way of processing this emotion, and will help you loosen the hold of the great worrier within you. When you trust that you have the resources and support to make it through hard times, you will open your mind to new possibilities and release the weight of holding on to old ways.
Guilt - “I should be doing X, Y, & Z for work/my business, but instead I have been painting my house!”
Isn’t it about time that we placed more value on keeping our health, home and happiness a top priority versus being endlessly productive for others alone? It is well known that we can all become more efficient when we clock-in less and take time for the things that matter most like: eating fresh, nourishing foods, exercising, and breathing fresh air regularly. If it feels like your usual work patterns are trying to pull you back in a direction that makes you feel constantly behind and ineffective, whether you are ‘clocked in’ for work, or catching up with some gardening, its time you give yourself permission to be fully present in whatever you decide to do. When you acknowledge that you NEED to take a break to go for a walk, or just do something else, allow yourself to wrap up, close the laptop, and let the current of your creative energy carry you forward with the day. Life is too short to give yourself a guilt trip, tell yourself you’re allowed to take a break.
At this stage in our lockdown living, it is important to recognise the stages and effects of being separated from living a primarily outward-directed lifestyle. If you have found the last few weeks more of a roller-coaster of highs and lows, motivation and stagnation, uncertainty and fresh new perspectives - you are not alone.
Take stock of where you are TODAY, and begin the deeper transformation that awaits you. Take time for journaling, reflection, open conversations, and expressing your deepest needs and desires. You really CAN create a brand new way of living. Welcome to stage 3, everyone. This is where the good stuff happens.
